Hello.
Three months have passed since I last wrote. Forgive me. I was in the middle of a hibernation.
It is March once again—what I’m trying to say here is, it’s been a year since the pandemic knocked over every marvelous plan that we had in our lives for the year 2020. I remember exactly a year ago telling myself, “This is going to be my year.” A chance to get out of the country, a chance to be reborn and live in a place where nothing is familiar. Until every perfect plan I had in my head was completely destroyed by one terrible event—the world turned upside down, not only for me but to everyone. Imagine that 2020 is a fancy party that happens once in a year and the purge had to happen at the same day of the party, terrible, is it not? But you’re already there with only two choices: to die or to kill. Now, ask yourself, are you going to allow some stranger in a party kill you? I believe not. And so, you have nothing left to choose but to kill this stranger. You are already on the dancefloor; everyone is expected to be dancing but no one is demanding anyone to dance well. You try to synchronize your body with the current music while trying not to get killed by a stranger. In the real world however, this stranger could be you.
Humans are naturally born with survival instincts. We do not just live in order to survive the real world, we survive in order to live! Whoever made up the phrase, “Live, not survive” or “Are you living or just breathing?” is some ridiculous being that does not know how to live. We are all expected to be breathing every second of the day, 24/7 for 365 days and so on. Try telling that to someone who’s unfortunate with breathing and hear yourself asking that ridiculous question, “Are you living or just breathing?” because clearly, they’re breathing to survive. Breathing alone is enough. Do not drown yourself with the thoughts running in your head because time alone is fast enough. Do not try to fight the wave that is strong enough to drown you—instead, lose your control and wait for the wave to arrive at the shore. It is only human to lose control, to lose ourselves. If we fight with a tired soul then we are only killing ourselves, not the enemy. Sometimes, we must take shelter and rest as long as we need to. Do not worry about the days passing by, about the things that you could have done better in the past, about the future—because in the present, you’re here and you are alive.
Take a thousand rests if you must for you to survive. We don’t tell an awake person “Rise and shine!”—we say that to a person who’s asleep for a reason. We rest in order to rise and that my friend, is enough for you to survive each passing day.
Survival is the only way to reborn ourselves—even if it takes to kill the person that we used to be.
